Got this from the Cuz today. Funny and true, as far as the .mil friends go. Have a laugh and enjoy.
FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you don't get caught.
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up.
FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home. MILITARY FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, we fucked up. But hey, that shit was fun."
FRIENDS: Cry with you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and tell you to put some vagasil on your vagina.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.
FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will low crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will man up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.
FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!"
FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.
FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will say, "Okay, just one more." And then two minutes later they will say, "Okay, just one more!"
FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!
FRIENDS: Will tell you that they would take a bullet for you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.
FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will forward this to all their friends.
It occurs to me I haven't had or retained contact with nearly any civilian friends from my pre-mil days. That's over 19 years ago. One or two have emailed after the reunion, but that didn't last long. I have a longer established relationship with Tammi and QW than I do with my High School chums. That should be sad. (And probably a little creepy for Tammi and QW) A big reason is because the immediate Fam relocated the same time I left for school, so there is a big disconnect there, but still, I grew up with those morons. Time and distance I guess. BUT, I know I can call Mike out of the blue and with full confidence, show up on his doorstep, drag him to every bar in San Diego and end up in chairs on his front porch at sunrise. His wife would likely only be mad if she wasn't invited. He has offspring now so things may be a little tighter at Casa De Mikey, but my point remains. It's about trust and confidence. You civilians, you're doing it wrong. Maybe you just face too high a cost for getting it wrong, end result is the same. In my mind, there should not be this much of a quick-disconnect between fellow Americans. Between people raised in this country, and people who serve this country. Barn raising days are over but that should not mean you have free license to be an asshole. American citizens today look at each other through a lense of political correctness and defend or abandon each other based on opinions aired by people like the shit-heads on "TheView". What a disservice. What a disgrace. Pardon me while I light a cigar and pee off my back porch and say "Fuck Whoopie, and everybody like her". Whoopie and Joy Behar who together are incapable of changing spark plug, but would be more than happy to talk behind the back of a person they paid to do it. Respect cannot be taken or demanded, it must be earned, and the first step in earning respect is giving a little to start with.
By Shawshank standards, I must be institutionalized. I'd say we're in for interesting times but at this point I really hate that saying.